wah..
My Nerubian Assassin today..
super dissappointing..
but still can la..
didn't cause the team any harm..
you know..
what Gughan said..
is pretty true..
that perspective-wise..
time can be viewed very differently..
think 15 weeks..and its like wow..so fast..
think 3 months and it seems much longer..
say a 1/4 of a year and it feels even longer..
but what is is..
that time is limited..
Here in my room
This party is old and uninviting
Participants all in black and white
You enter in full blown technicolor
Nothing is the same after tonight
If the world were to fall apart
In a fiction-worthy wind
I wouldn't change a thing now that you're here
yeah, love is a verb here in my room, here in my room,
here in my room
yeah, love is a verb here in my room, here in my room,
here in my room
You enter and close the door behind you
Now show me the world as seen from the stars
If only the lights would dim a little
I'm wary of eyes upon my scars
If the world would fall apart
In a fiction-worthy wind
I wouldn't change a thing now that you're here
yeah, love is a verb here in my room, here in my room,
here in my room
yeah, love is a verb here in my room, here in my room,
here in my room
Pink tractorbeam into your incision
Head spinning as free as dervishs' whirl
I came here expecting next to nothing
So thank you for being that kind of girl
Heh..I love the vibe of this song..
twisted and mysterious..
Johnny Depp style.
Sitting in my father's car..
after coming back from the clinic yesterday..
as he tried to explain the complexities of shitting..
and how one must used controlled breathing instead of anal muscles.
in order to prevent the build up of piles..
which led to the discussion of my sister's innate ability..
which is to forcibly make a fart any time she wishes..
and you think I'm weird...
I feel a huge weight lifted from me..
despite..the shortcomings this competition...
despite the trials and obstacles..
I am still alive..
I can still shape my destiny..
I can see the beautiful sky once again..
laying there staring into the serene and blue abyss..
that kind of relaxing feeling..
Whatever it is..
Air rifle..
if anything..
was a great experience..
it teaches you respect for it..
teaches you how to work with people..
and it was one hack of a journey..
I mean..
Air rifle has such a lively group of people..
it's just makes life so breezy..
sigh..
but I guess it's about time to close this chapter..this time..
perhaps..
someday when I have the money..
I'll get a gun...
I'll get a suit..
and I'll shoot again..
it's been fun..
1 and a half years of a great time..
nothing better I could've asked for..
I wouldn't have my team any other way...
I'm proud..
that they can still stand up..
and face what is..
and continue with their lives..
as long as they can do that..
that's all that's needed..
right now..
I'm free..
finally...
anyway..
We're all starting to get really hooked on arcade games..
heheh..
Alvin Daniel Jerold..InitialD/Daytona
Weili/me/Amos...percussion freaks..
seriously...
hopefully the bonds that brings us together never breaks..
that whatever it is..
the fellowship was the greatest award one could ever hope to win..
the support of everyone..
that's all I need..in addition to my own efforts..
Thanks to all the shooters..
Thanks to the beloved Ex-co
to the teachers
the J2s..
Fellow captains
and J1s..
ok...stop the post before I get mushy...
Tomorrow is it...
I will be focused.
I will be resolute.
I will do my best.
and I will be nothing else.
To give me the strength to pull through tomorrow
after all my training..
it finally all comes down to this..
I will do my best
I will do my best
I WILL do my best..
insecurity
fear
delusion that's what it is..
I've told Donovan to let go..
maybe I should too..
Fear is an indulgence for the weak..
Somehow...
before the competition..
I have to cast off all fear and all worries..
...
and I need a new background..
Stagnation is decay..
Nausea..
ugh..hate this feeling..
The coach seems to have more faith in me..
then I ever let myself have..
I wonder..
anyway..
been starting to develop greater feelings of animosity towards quite a few individuals..
-----Boring philosophical stuff------
just take the shooting club incident..
I can only make a single decision..
I can't be fair to everyone..
because both ways..its impossible..
this sort of stuff..
I think it should be the individual's right..
but only if he asserts that right..
but what to say of those incapable of doing such?..
but then what do I say to those who have asserted themselves..
and then the tyranny of the majority principle..
better to go against the majority?..
then fall desperately..
brilliantly heroic..
but thats also besides the fact that its brilliantly stupid..
but then again both sides have their points..
but ultimately..
there is only so much one can do to protect the weak.
after that its up to them..
I really wish things did not have to be this way..
but defiant voices have to be silenced..
unless they become the objects of destability..
perhaps..
it isn't that this world is fair.
but then we as sentinent beings should assert ourselves and make it fair..
perhaps then..
yet then again..
how are we supposed to open the eyes of those blind to this fact..
once again..
pragmatism..
beyond good and evil..
because even the diablolical can be wise..
hmm...
well also because I am feeling extremely bored..
and what's more what I feel is utter disgust for that person..
I shall break free from my neutrality..
and attempt an aggressive downplay of a certain person who has disgusted me
for quite sometime now...
I shall type in simpler english..
the nausea might have something to do with it..
well..
here I go..
Jeraldine Koh.
yes..
her..
disgusts me to no end.
and here's the reason why..
her level of maturity..
is by far one of the lowest I've seen in a JC student..
I mean..her pitiful defiance disgusts me..
at her rebellion..
to do what she likes..
a world of her own.
a world of the blind.
a little perfect world..
blind to the emotions of others.
and all which threatens her self-centred goals..
evil..
yes..I guess she would consider that..to a lesser extent..
like many people..
oblivious to the greater bigger picture..
heh..
look..
I've closed one eye again..
she is after all human..
much like any of us..
oblivious of pain..
being self-righteous is nature to us..
its an intricate part of our existence..
well...the nperhaps I should just comment..
that what she does is deplorable..
but she is not deplorable..
so difficult..
to bring people to understand..
their actions..
every action
every word you speak..
every muscle you move..
bears a consequence..
but who am I to say anything..
I've been spending such a long time..thinking..
I guess the rest of my life's rotting away again..
-----Boring philosophical stuff------
I am seriously addicted to percussion freaks..
forget that I look like a retard when I play it.
and that I almost nearly suck totally..
but nothing's unsalvagable..(I think I see my self-confidence hiding behind there..)
its seriously cool..
I can understand why HeJia spent my money MY MONEY!...on Drumsticks just for that..
Been playing Dota with the shooting club people recently..
I miss the drow ranger's farming..
she just has $$ on her
Release yourself