So here I am...Standing before a crumbling image of my current state...of nothing...there is nothing to crumble...there is nothing to fall.....still I type this.....without aim without...purpose....I can hear him...as predicted......they come they go...as usual.....meaningless behind....chatter gossip....silence......same things....care concern....worthless empty....something beats...I can no longer...see...still I long for.....still I scorn at...confusing....life.....behind..hollow words....hiding.....insecurity....understanding......fallacy.....do you really care?.....act like you do.....trust...burned to the ground.......I don't need it anymore......Broken...this bond.....I don't wanna live hypocrisy.....shut up....shut up.....you shut up.......why?....Why?......no reason.....no purpose...forsaken...rather.....love....loneliness.......hate....you..hate all.no masks....unattainable?......Irrational....Ideologies.....wish...useless.....without action.....laughter.....redundant.....you...angry?...I no longer care...purpose....serve your purpose....nothing more.....nothing less.....
Sometimes....life look so....rehearsed....obeying some hidden script...everything anybody does......seems so....expected....one way or another...actions...reactions.......so expected....so predictable.....and its like we are all bound to our parts....to fate....to what we do...what we think.....blind.......
Something is still not right....I can feel it.....discipline...lacking...master plan.....revising....must implement...must obey....respect......comply.....lack focus....motivation hazy...priorities messed....blinded....lines.....gone nothing...defined.....questions...more questions.......no answers..nothing left....instinct rises.......restrain......violent tendencies...think....stop...silence....violence..taste....death....blood........nothing more......understand?......hollowness.......empty......human nature.......disgusts......sickening....beautiful.....shattered......numb.....endless.......scenes......fake........smiles........lies....deceit....insecurity.......meaningless.......strange.....perculiar.....misunderstood....
Self
30/12/1987
Bleach
poetry
Rock
Pretzels