I don't need inspiration to study.
I need to study.
I don't need to feel kindness.
I need to be kind.
I do not need to feel for the unfortunate.
I need to help them.
I don't need to want to do something important.
I need to do it.
The cave was dark.
The boy could hear the storm outside.
Rivers of rainwater flooded the floor.
He could hear that too.
He took out his flashlight and turned it on.
It flickered with the greatest promise of illuminating the whole cave,
but died as quickly as it had given its false promise.
Sighing, the boy placed the flashlight inside his grimy pocket.
Life was easy here.
Though he could hardly see anything,
he lived off the sweet potatoes that grew out from the ceiling.
Almost like some perverse manna from the sky.
He drank the rainwater to quench his thirst,
butg he could never quench his thirst of seeing the world outside again.
Ever since he lost his way years ago,
he has been traversing the interiors of the cave,
looking for someway out,
but to no avail.
Still again he looked at the flashlight inside his pocket,
gave it a tight squeeze and let go of it again.
If only he had some light,
someway to bring some definition to the landscape,
to escape its labyrinth.
But he knew,
that somehow,
that was almost impossible.
The batteries in the light were as good as dead,
so as his hope.
until one day,
in his daily routine of exploration,
he stumbled along something shiny.
Eager to find out what it was,
the boy grabbed it with his fingers,
disregarding any form of threat it may pose.
He picked it up and felt it.
It was not one but two.
Two small cylinders,
reeking of alkaline fluid.
Immediately, he felt an overwhelming excitement.
Perhaps this could finally bring light to his forsaken world?
Perhaps he could finally find the world outside?
he once again reached into his pocket to produce the metallic object.
Overly eager, he ripped the casing open and shoved both batteries inside,
only to find that they too didn't work.
In fact, the light no longer flickered.
It was completely,
and utterly,
dead.
His expression changed accordingly.
He knelt
and for the longest time,
he stared straight into the darkness,
Clutching the light as though his touch would bring it to life,
would bring him to that state of euphoria again.
'No.'
'No.'
he said.
He flung it.
The deceitful rod.
It bounced across the ceiling of the cave,
before landing in some hidden crevice
and for the longest time again,
he wept.
'Why?'
'Why?'
he asked.
The walls seemed to draw him in,
as though promising some form of retort,
only to betray his fleeting senses.
He pounded the mossy cave floor.
He raged at the state he was in,
and lastly,
he tore himself apart.
He could feel the numbness of his state.
To be thrown hope,
only to watch it burn.
'Now what?'
'Now what?'
He screamed.
He screamed.
Still, only silence and his fading echoes served as the only reply.
Tears in his eyes,
he groped around and found his now damaged light.
He put it inside his pocket.
'No.'
'No'
he said.
and he rose up again
and walked back into the darkness.
It's gonna take some time..
sigh..
my sister wanted to flush the suckerfish which died..
down my toilet bowl.
I totally rejected her offer.
I mean if I take a shit,
and I see that thing pop up.
all hell is going to break loose...
I really have ........done...
absolutely nothing study wise.....
I can't find any motivation to do so..
but that's no excuse..
I guess..
sigh...
Ahhh..
crazy weekend..
After GP mock..
went to the arcade in Clementi..
played for 4 Hours
4!!!..
w00t..
they charge by the hour there..
and its damn easy to get sian of a game..
played Guilty Gear X quite a few times..
I've fallen in love with May...
and something else..
it kinda dawned on me at the arcade...
the name Vanessa seems to be associated...
with scary and violent females..
the name popped up in 2 games..
scary stuff...but it explains the phenomenon in class..
after that went to the BBQ..
Shooting club's...
did something really stupid..
tried to climb a tree...
and then got stuck on one of the branches..
hanging on to dear life..
sigh...
The BBQ was pretty fun...
Jian Cheng got fireworks(not the explosive rocket kind)
and he lighted it up and...it was sick..
he fell after that though..
but he looked fine....today..
was pissing off the girls as usual..
got chased by them ...as usual..
ended..up having to pay for it..as usual..
this time with ice in my underwear...
sigh...
after that...
went for the 2T10 BBQ..
much more quiet...
David still stuck at the pit..
Chua still doing incredibly stupid stuff..
anyway...
Sara...
hits hard..
Next to the sore legs...
sore arms...
my back is sore too..
anyway...
after that BBQ..
I went home..
freshened up what little I could..
and went for a 3 AM movie...
Wedding crashers..
pretty funny because....
The couples...or would-be couples;D
were sitting between the singles...
lol..
after the movie...
went to Coffee club...
ugh...
laid my head on the table to sleep there..
only to be rudely awakened by the manager..
telling me that the place is for me to relax...not sleep..
then she went behind the counter..
stared at me a couple of times..
and proceeded to vanish..
wow..
seriously.
I ordered the most expensive drink on your menu..
(it would as good as daylight robbery)...
and you cant even let me sleep a few winks before my drinks come..
alright..maybe I'm being biased..
but let's look at her side of the story...
her argument's...its a place to relax...
I FIND SLEEP YES SLEEP RELAXING...
and what's more..
she's got nothing on me...
come on....
I'm a paying customer..
my drink hasn't come yet...
I'm entitled to certain rights..
ridiculous...
Uptight...
yea....
it's one thing to hate someone..
but I don't hate her...
I just can't believe she would do such a thing..
it's entirely stupid...
...
anyway..due to the lack of sleep..
I am starting to do alot of accidental stupid stuff..
like during mass..
I read the creed as..
'By the power of the Pontius Pilate,
he was born of the virgin mary'..
and at home..I read this bookmark..as
'Stop trying to play God'
when it said..
'may God bless you'...
seriously lost it..
which brings me to that pretty cool schizophrenic..Nike ad..
yea...now that's different...
that's it now...I need to get stuff done.
Release yourself